I find it interesting as time is passing how activities that I enjoy change.
I am signed up and ready to get serious about tri-athlon training and today really got excited when I found a route to work to ride my bike, with an estimate of 30 minutes from google maps! You can't beat getting training in and saving some money from my wallet that doesn't have to go towards gas. I have always enjoyed spending time with people, but now have found I am content to do just that rather than to have to do something. (Old habits still kick in for most of my time hanging out with people. One of these days maybe I'll be able to relax rather than fuss!)
The biggest realization that I came to today was how I am enjoying doing more nature type activities being in more of a city setting. The past few times at home I have found contentment that there isn't a whole lot to do- I think partly since it's a short break and I expect being 5 minutes from 5 different Starbucks simultaneously :P *Actually last time home I went with some friends to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts... 25 minutes away (:*
I am finding that I am content with the fact that I am in Rochester for the next year. Sure it would be nice to know where I'll be 5 years from now, but I have enough on my plate the next day, week, month that I need to focus on. I have work, I have flowering outdoor plants, but the biggest realization that has been fantastic is that I am starting to be able to be hospitable to others. I have a place that I can open up to others and usually have refreshments that I can offer them.
Another freeing notion is this blog. No I don't plan on giving up posting thoughts from time to time, but in the past I have perhaps been a little stressed about not offering something on it to others (talk about a somewhat egotistical thought). I may post multiple times a day or it could be years in between postings and either way I am okay with :) This blog is going to be for my reflections and for whomever else, or no one else, who decides to read these postings!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
fondest memory of Grandpa...
Last night the only grandfather I ever knew passed. At this point I am sure it has not sunk in and won't until I go home for everything. He has not been doing the greatest for a while and last time I talked with my mom she basically told me to prepare for the worst.
A few weeks ago I brought him up in prayer to the youth I work with and the other adult there got me thinking about him in a different perspective. He could be a difficult man. The only chance to connect was usually through Euchre, which I learned a valuable lesson early- Don't every trump Grandpa's Ace even if all you have left are trump! But recently I was remembering something else that meant a lot to me that he was there.
At my recital for my undergraduate there were those I expected and those I never would have imagined to be there. Grandpa was one that was there that I did not expect! He never really said anything about the recital to me, but he mentioned not knowing I could sing like that to my Mom. To have my grandfather sit through a half an hour of classical/Broadway music and travel up to Potsdam really made me feel special and in reminiscing was one of the times that meant a lot to me for him to be there. Rest in peace Grandpa.
A few weeks ago I brought him up in prayer to the youth I work with and the other adult there got me thinking about him in a different perspective. He could be a difficult man. The only chance to connect was usually through Euchre, which I learned a valuable lesson early- Don't every trump Grandpa's Ace even if all you have left are trump! But recently I was remembering something else that meant a lot to me that he was there.
At my recital for my undergraduate there were those I expected and those I never would have imagined to be there. Grandpa was one that was there that I did not expect! He never really said anything about the recital to me, but he mentioned not knowing I could sing like that to my Mom. To have my grandfather sit through a half an hour of classical/Broadway music and travel up to Potsdam really made me feel special and in reminiscing was one of the times that meant a lot to me for him to be there. Rest in peace Grandpa.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
life in this new semester... with ambitious resolutions...
Now I don't want to go all "Bridget Jones" on this blog by giving an exact update on the resolutions, but briefly... I am making my way through Moby Dick (finally!), training pretty well for the triathlon (I have the swimming portion like it's nobody's business :oD- swam 200 yards more than whats required... my first day of training in the pool), arriving early (did well at the beginning- still needs work), money (I will focus on that after all my dental work is done!), open to new possibilities & guitar & travel (looking forward to them as time permits!).
Current tidbits of life:
I still do not know what the semester will bring, and I am okay with that! This week my class/lesson schedule should finally be in full swing. I have already discovered that it might be beneficial for me to get a larger memory card to record my voice lessons, which is fine since I did not have to buy many books this semester. I am returning to finding peace in my day to day life. There have been times that I have been stressed, and they try to come back, but most of the time I have been able to hold onto the peace.
A few weeks ago I attended a college Christian chapter meeting and at the meeting we were split into smaller groups. Among the groups we were able to discuss challenges currently in our life and the one I mentioned was releasing my control on my life. One of the guys in the group asked the question, "How do you let go of the control of your life?" I answered a generic reflecting on life, starting to meditate on God's word, and becoming conscious of the fact. Later that night God really spoke to me and revealed that there's so much more than the response that I gave. Long story short several hours later I would decide to sleep and he would reveal more to me, which I write down. So on went the light again late in the night/early in the morning and I have several pages written outlining what he revealed to me.
With that revelation the return to peace came. When I let go of control in my life God takes control of my life giving me a wondrous sense of peace. Why am I so quick to try to "live" my life? It reminds me of a line from Phil Wickham's song True Love "lose your life just so you can find it". It also brings me back to a book that I am letting my Dad borrow right now that speaks of the life that comes to us through dying to ourselves enabling God to let us live the life he calls us to. As stated by Switchfoot in a song "every seed dies before it grows".
Again long story short, reflecting on the past few years it is great seeing all the energized life that God has given in the times I have died to my flesh. My flesh does not like that process though, bringing stress as it battles my spirit. With each success in dying to myself though there have been longer times of contentment in Christ and with where he has placed me.
That basically summarizes where I currently am :) Only one last random comment/assignment. In one of my courses I am taking this semester they asked that we write a school history, that is the communication that our parents received from the school. Basically I found that I never got any calls home for misbehavior. The only things that stood out for parent teacher conferences were 1) I did not listen to the full rules for my kindergarten test leading me to continue in 1st grade with special reading services because of my hearing impairment 2) My teachers all stated that I was quiet (people usually have a tough time believing me on that one) and they could not quite figure me out- my sister at that point piped in I was the typical middle child, which has some interesting thoughts to think about.
So besides the peace I have from reflections on the current circumstances I have been in a reflective mood about the past. As long as I have the time to think about both I am okay with that!
Current tidbits of life:
I still do not know what the semester will bring, and I am okay with that! This week my class/lesson schedule should finally be in full swing. I have already discovered that it might be beneficial for me to get a larger memory card to record my voice lessons, which is fine since I did not have to buy many books this semester. I am returning to finding peace in my day to day life. There have been times that I have been stressed, and they try to come back, but most of the time I have been able to hold onto the peace.
A few weeks ago I attended a college Christian chapter meeting and at the meeting we were split into smaller groups. Among the groups we were able to discuss challenges currently in our life and the one I mentioned was releasing my control on my life. One of the guys in the group asked the question, "How do you let go of the control of your life?" I answered a generic reflecting on life, starting to meditate on God's word, and becoming conscious of the fact. Later that night God really spoke to me and revealed that there's so much more than the response that I gave. Long story short several hours later I would decide to sleep and he would reveal more to me, which I write down. So on went the light again late in the night/early in the morning and I have several pages written outlining what he revealed to me.
With that revelation the return to peace came. When I let go of control in my life God takes control of my life giving me a wondrous sense of peace. Why am I so quick to try to "live" my life? It reminds me of a line from Phil Wickham's song True Love "lose your life just so you can find it". It also brings me back to a book that I am letting my Dad borrow right now that speaks of the life that comes to us through dying to ourselves enabling God to let us live the life he calls us to. As stated by Switchfoot in a song "every seed dies before it grows".
Again long story short, reflecting on the past few years it is great seeing all the energized life that God has given in the times I have died to my flesh. My flesh does not like that process though, bringing stress as it battles my spirit. With each success in dying to myself though there have been longer times of contentment in Christ and with where he has placed me.
That basically summarizes where I currently am :) Only one last random comment/assignment. In one of my courses I am taking this semester they asked that we write a school history, that is the communication that our parents received from the school. Basically I found that I never got any calls home for misbehavior. The only things that stood out for parent teacher conferences were 1) I did not listen to the full rules for my kindergarten test leading me to continue in 1st grade with special reading services because of my hearing impairment 2) My teachers all stated that I was quiet (people usually have a tough time believing me on that one) and they could not quite figure me out- my sister at that point piped in I was the typical middle child, which has some interesting thoughts to think about.
So besides the peace I have from reflections on the current circumstances I have been in a reflective mood about the past. As long as I have the time to think about both I am okay with that!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Resolution Time: 2011 Edition
The time has come to put down my resolutions before I have a chance of breaking them before I have begun! Since I have become accustomed to lists I will use them here, not because my brain can't handle anything more complex as a friend suggested recently when I used a list for them :)
1- Go to 5 places I have never been before. More precisely actually cities/towns/areas. At this point there are 2 already concretely planned: a Mission's Trip to Schuylkill County, PA and Philadelphia, PA. I have 2 other places I hope to visit and make more concrete: New Paltz and Niagara Falls.
2- Read Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby, and Moby Dick (2011 will be the year I conquer this book!!!!!). Never read them (completely in the case of Moby Dick) before!
3- Learn to play guitar well. Might be tempted to take a class to keep myself accountable.
4- Be open to new possibilities. In the past there have been opportunities that I shut down and never gave a chance to. In the new year I don't plan on going crazy doing activities that is against my character, but at the same time I feel that I need to return to some spontaneity.
5- Be at least 5-10 minutes early to appointments/work/class. I want to push myself to be more responsible with my time and more professional rather than apologetic.
6- Train and complete a triathlon! Super pumped about doing this with two wonderful ladies from camp and possibly my sister!
7- Be frugal and budget my finances wisely. I even plan to do so by taking money from any nanny-ing, accompanying, or substitute teaching I do and putting that money directly in my savings!
A little ambitious... possibly, but I am up to the challenge!
1- Go to 5 places I have never been before. More precisely actually cities/towns/areas. At this point there are 2 already concretely planned: a Mission's Trip to Schuylkill County, PA and Philadelphia, PA. I have 2 other places I hope to visit and make more concrete: New Paltz and Niagara Falls.
2- Read Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby, and Moby Dick (2011 will be the year I conquer this book!!!!!). Never read them (completely in the case of Moby Dick) before!
3- Learn to play guitar well. Might be tempted to take a class to keep myself accountable.
4- Be open to new possibilities. In the past there have been opportunities that I shut down and never gave a chance to. In the new year I don't plan on going crazy doing activities that is against my character, but at the same time I feel that I need to return to some spontaneity.
5- Be at least 5-10 minutes early to appointments/work/class. I want to push myself to be more responsible with my time and more professional rather than apologetic.
6- Train and complete a triathlon! Super pumped about doing this with two wonderful ladies from camp and possibly my sister!
7- Be frugal and budget my finances wisely. I even plan to do so by taking money from any nanny-ing, accompanying, or substitute teaching I do and putting that money directly in my savings!
A little ambitious... possibly, but I am up to the challenge!
Friday, December 31, 2010
pensive about the new year...
The past few days have been interesting as I have been debating back and forth of resolutions for the new year and approaching the end of last years resolutions. That is of tomorrow I can return to chatting online or longer texts, if I so choose. Although as far as texts I think I still feel that if it's getting into a full fledged conversation that it's easier to just call. For facebook chat, we shall see. I feel less dependent than I was a year ago which is a freeing feeling! For new resolutions I have been contemplating them and will probably make a post specifically listing all of the grandiose plans for 2011. Specifically I think I can give a sneak preview to say that I am making resolutions to take time for myself completing things I have wanted to do while freeing up myself from the box that I tend to put myself in.
Happy New Year Everyone!
Happy New Year Everyone!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Update time!
I have found that I am rediscovering motivation and peace in my life. With that I felt it appropriate to share some of the reflective moments I have been having and some stories of the semester.
Update on Life
I have my grades back, except for two classes and I must say that I am pleased with the way that they turned out. The amount of time spent for classes was not too crazy, but there will be some challenges with them next semester. Specifically this past semester I took 3 graduate classes which was a lot of reading, writing, and *gasp* math/ statistics. I also took voice lessons, conducting, and woman's choir. I felt that a good amount of my time was consumed by that graduate work, but felt I can be more disciplined in the other courses. So next semester I am taking 2 graduate classes *the offerings for the semester weren't the greatest for me since two of them I took this past semester and the other classes of interest either had a schedule conflict or they canceled :( But I decided to work on my practicing disciplines so am taking an extra voice credit, taking piano lessons, and continuing with woman's choir *specifically observing the conductor to continue to invest in the growth of my conducting skills.
Work at my 3 consistent jobs continues. Being a nanny has days that I really enjoy and days that I would love to sleep in a little longer or do homework. I have found that it can really drain me quickly, which is not the best thing with all that I have taken on. Working as a Director of Youth Ministries is really enjoyable for events planned, but also it can be overwhelming at times. The program is really small so a lot of the work is trying to make connections to youth of the community and bring them to seek out their faith at the church. Being new to the area that presents a challenge as I am familiarizing myself with the church traditions while they are in the midst of making changes to try to make it more welcoming. Accompanying constantly challenges my piano chops, but also my patience and communication to the vocalists I accompany. I hope that with piano lessons, to reinforce better practicing/learning techniques, paired with experience from this semester that things will be clearer and smoother.
And that is basically my life in a nutshell, school and work. I also attend RIT's Campus Crusade and hope to get involved with them some more in the future, but at this point I'll save elaborating for later.
Random Occurrence
For voice lessons and conducting I had been asked to bring my camera to record myself. One day after conducting in woman's choir and practicing on the grand piano, I accidentally left the camera on the piano bench. The following day I was looking for my camera and my conducting professor informed me she found it and put it in the music office. I gladly grabbed the camera, put it with my books, went to class and thought nothing of it.
Later as I was showing someone some pictures on my camera I started to realize that there were three with people I did not know! Specifically there was a picture taken by this guy making an confused expression! *I may add it here later* I was quite confused and amused by this and thought maybe someone decided to take advantage of the fact that there was an unattended camera.
A few weeks went by, thought nothing of it, and the Christmas Gala came for the choirs. After the performance I was looking for my parents, who came, and I noticed this guy looked familiar then realized- the guy was the one from the picture on my camera! I lost track of him, but after I found my parents and was about to leave saw that I was going to walk by him. Since I have guts and had to know I introduced myself explained the pictures on my camera, to which he started to laugh! He mentioned he was the culprit and explained that he was in rehearsals for a show and thought the pictures would be amusing to whomever owned it. I knew someone acting in that show, 42nd Street, and told her the story and she got a kick out of it. At this point since I have her as a connection I am thinking the favor should be repaid, maybe with a sign saying "break a leg".
Future Thoughts/Current Reflections
I have been thinking on the past year and my resolutions and particularly been contemplating what to do next year.
Brief assessment of this past years resolutions: I feel that it was a success with what I set out to do, but feel that there is space for revision. Specifically I limited texts and typed conversation. I took away chat altogether. This freed me up tremendously with my compulsive responses, which also led to me feeling with my cell phone to always have it on hand... in the case that someone contacted me. On the other hand it made me realize that that in itself was not the full problem that I have with text conversation. The biggest problem is the fact that I can tend to be clever and borderline flirtatious, which is not what I want to be the case. I find that I get uncomfortable with flirting and that I may be the root of that discomfort. *I might elaborate on this subject in the future, but again trying to keep this less lengthy*
Thoughts for this years resolutions: Keeping my typed conversation away from flirtation* and attempting to start completing things on my bucket list, which I will elaborate on these more as the new year approaches. I especially find that by typing these resolutions and continuing to type about them that this blog has been an accountability tool for myself.
*specifically trying to abide by the standards of Philippians 4:8- true, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy*
To end I will give a sneak preview of one of the bucket list items that I know will be pursued- a triathlon! I will be doing it with two women I admire and will be registering soon! In the case all the exclamation points have not addressed my emotion concerning this- I am super excited!
Update on Life
I have my grades back, except for two classes and I must say that I am pleased with the way that they turned out. The amount of time spent for classes was not too crazy, but there will be some challenges with them next semester. Specifically this past semester I took 3 graduate classes which was a lot of reading, writing, and *gasp* math/ statistics. I also took voice lessons, conducting, and woman's choir. I felt that a good amount of my time was consumed by that graduate work, but felt I can be more disciplined in the other courses. So next semester I am taking 2 graduate classes *the offerings for the semester weren't the greatest for me since two of them I took this past semester and the other classes of interest either had a schedule conflict or they canceled :( But I decided to work on my practicing disciplines so am taking an extra voice credit, taking piano lessons, and continuing with woman's choir *specifically observing the conductor to continue to invest in the growth of my conducting skills.
Work at my 3 consistent jobs continues. Being a nanny has days that I really enjoy and days that I would love to sleep in a little longer or do homework. I have found that it can really drain me quickly, which is not the best thing with all that I have taken on. Working as a Director of Youth Ministries is really enjoyable for events planned, but also it can be overwhelming at times. The program is really small so a lot of the work is trying to make connections to youth of the community and bring them to seek out their faith at the church. Being new to the area that presents a challenge as I am familiarizing myself with the church traditions while they are in the midst of making changes to try to make it more welcoming. Accompanying constantly challenges my piano chops, but also my patience and communication to the vocalists I accompany. I hope that with piano lessons, to reinforce better practicing/learning techniques, paired with experience from this semester that things will be clearer and smoother.
And that is basically my life in a nutshell, school and work. I also attend RIT's Campus Crusade and hope to get involved with them some more in the future, but at this point I'll save elaborating for later.
Random Occurrence
For voice lessons and conducting I had been asked to bring my camera to record myself. One day after conducting in woman's choir and practicing on the grand piano, I accidentally left the camera on the piano bench. The following day I was looking for my camera and my conducting professor informed me she found it and put it in the music office. I gladly grabbed the camera, put it with my books, went to class and thought nothing of it.
Later as I was showing someone some pictures on my camera I started to realize that there were three with people I did not know! Specifically there was a picture taken by this guy making an confused expression! *I may add it here later* I was quite confused and amused by this and thought maybe someone decided to take advantage of the fact that there was an unattended camera.
A few weeks went by, thought nothing of it, and the Christmas Gala came for the choirs. After the performance I was looking for my parents, who came, and I noticed this guy looked familiar then realized- the guy was the one from the picture on my camera! I lost track of him, but after I found my parents and was about to leave saw that I was going to walk by him. Since I have guts and had to know I introduced myself explained the pictures on my camera, to which he started to laugh! He mentioned he was the culprit and explained that he was in rehearsals for a show and thought the pictures would be amusing to whomever owned it. I knew someone acting in that show, 42nd Street, and told her the story and she got a kick out of it. At this point since I have her as a connection I am thinking the favor should be repaid, maybe with a sign saying "break a leg".
Future Thoughts/Current Reflections
I have been thinking on the past year and my resolutions and particularly been contemplating what to do next year.
Brief assessment of this past years resolutions: I feel that it was a success with what I set out to do, but feel that there is space for revision. Specifically I limited texts and typed conversation. I took away chat altogether. This freed me up tremendously with my compulsive responses, which also led to me feeling with my cell phone to always have it on hand... in the case that someone contacted me. On the other hand it made me realize that that in itself was not the full problem that I have with text conversation. The biggest problem is the fact that I can tend to be clever and borderline flirtatious, which is not what I want to be the case. I find that I get uncomfortable with flirting and that I may be the root of that discomfort. *I might elaborate on this subject in the future, but again trying to keep this less lengthy*
Thoughts for this years resolutions: Keeping my typed conversation away from flirtation* and attempting to start completing things on my bucket list, which I will elaborate on these more as the new year approaches. I especially find that by typing these resolutions and continuing to type about them that this blog has been an accountability tool for myself.
*specifically trying to abide by the standards of Philippians 4:8- true, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy*
To end I will give a sneak preview of one of the bucket list items that I know will be pursued- a triathlon! I will be doing it with two women I admire and will be registering soon! In the case all the exclamation points have not addressed my emotion concerning this- I am super excited!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
sneek peek of stories to be shared when I am well rested and inspired...
First to update a little bit of life...
I am in Rochester until the Christmas Eve service, after which I will be driving back home arriving a little before if not on Christmas! So this week consists of making sure that I am all set with work so that I can enjoy next week as a vacation :) Today I have been feeling under the weather so I am hopeful that a good night's sleep will take care of that... and am drinking tea like it's my job!
Carley came over last night to have dinner and hang out. It was absolutely wonderful having her here and being able to not worry about classes and the semester. Speaking of which, still waiting to hear back on all grades but the one class I was worried about turned out fine!
The previews:
-story of random person taking pictures on my camera after I accidentally left it in a music hall
-office pictures
-and I'm sure there are more, but at this moment I am going to do as a woman I greatly respect does and retire to sleep early!
In the case that I don't manage to get on before Christmas- for all reading have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :o)
I am in Rochester until the Christmas Eve service, after which I will be driving back home arriving a little before if not on Christmas! So this week consists of making sure that I am all set with work so that I can enjoy next week as a vacation :) Today I have been feeling under the weather so I am hopeful that a good night's sleep will take care of that... and am drinking tea like it's my job!
Carley came over last night to have dinner and hang out. It was absolutely wonderful having her here and being able to not worry about classes and the semester. Speaking of which, still waiting to hear back on all grades but the one class I was worried about turned out fine!
The previews:
-story of random person taking pictures on my camera after I accidentally left it in a music hall
-office pictures
-and I'm sure there are more, but at this moment I am going to do as a woman I greatly respect does and retire to sleep early!
In the case that I don't manage to get on before Christmas- for all reading have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :o)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)