Thankfulness in Uncertainty

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Rom 8:28

This morning I was not called into a school to Substitute and actually found something productive to do; spend time with God. I started by reading the bible and then got an impulse to run. A few summers ago I realized that although I don't have an enjoyment of running itself that there are other benefits while I run. The main benefit being: When I run I can collect my thoughts and talk with God. So this morning I ran and had a good talk with God.

This morning in particular I found I was telling God a lot of my worries, uncertainty, and venting a bit. At one point God reminded me of his faithfulness since I have arrived to Rochester, the past year and a half. The rest of the run was joyous, still exhausting, but really full of thanks to God for all that he has done for me. A lot of the questions I had are still there, but I can tackle them knowing that in God's perfect time they'll be answered and that he walks/runs with me wherever I go. I have also been reminded of a talk that Keith Zehr had a camp, which I remember through the song "It ain't whatcha do it's the way that you do it." I need to continue to push forward and trust that by seeking God and seeking to glorify him he will continue to be faithful to provide and work through me!

A Glimpse into a Less Wasteful Year...

Resolutions last year... mainly successful. Resolutions this year deal with waste with multiple facets of that term. This might be highly ambitious, but I feel that if my resolutions are that easily achieved that I can become indifferent, complacent, and too comfortable with the way things are. On the other hand you may notice I'm not going "cold turkey". A few years back I had a resolution concerning texting. I did cut out aim, facebook chat, et cetera, but continued to respond to cell texts, but then I had a limit of 5 texts (at which point if it was that important I informed the other person to call).

This next year I am going to strive to not waste...
1) Time: With 3 jobs, getting my masters, figuring out life after college, etc... I keep busy and still in my busyness manage to waste time, a very precious commodity in my life!
2) Money: January was budget month... I used excel and maybe if I get motivated I'll even color coordinate! One Specific Area: specialty coffees- have a specific coffee budget (that I don't always use and I try to make for self rather than pay someone else to do it) *side thought: takes about the same amount of time... and wastes money= lose lose scenario*... Other areas- will be decided as I review my budget!

As stated this is a glimpse- This month happened so quickly and mainly I've found that this month is a month to reflect on what waste has been taking place and then fixing it.

Other news: I'm very excited about becoming an Aunt in April. I'm registered for Iron Girl again this summer and might be doing another triathlon as well! Lesson that it seems I continue to be learning is that God is in control*

*this might be elaborated at some point in the future

Nearer my God are Thee, Nancy Lee

Yesterday my breath was taken away, and my heart started aching, at the news that Nancy is no longer on this earth. Through the past day there have been a jumble of emotions. There have been plenty of times that I have, in my selfishness, been sad that I will not be seeing her face in this life. Multiple times God has reminded me of Nancy's impact in this life and of certain occasions that in the middle of grief I am still able to laugh and fondly remember her.

Philippians 2:14-18 has been my comfort and, in my opinion, explains a smidgen of who Nancy was. "Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ's return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even though I lose my life, pouring it like a liquid offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy."

Nancy was such an example of setting an example in her youth. Her walk with God shone so brightly that, within a short time of knowing her, I was challenged to strengthen my faith to reflect God more fully. With her departing this life it is upsetting that such a bright shining woman of God is no longer among us. Nancy brought life, energy, and joy wherever she went. These qualities were contagious and valued. When such value leaves, it's easy to feel a void and see the world as a dimmer place. The tendency is to reflect on the light departing instead of looking towards ways to allow God's light to shine brighter in us. In this time of grief, making me vulnerable, I need to depend on God and boast in his strength working through me.

Nancy is taking part in the wonderful hymn sing of heaven, lending her voice and enthusiasm. There is a celebration that one, such as her, has joined eternity. This fact brings a bit of joy during this time as well as God's reminder of a story, which I will end this post with.

One week at camp (day camp, I believe), Nancy was the rec leader. We usually have kids choose a buddy and then choose between two options. Most times those options are something simple like peanut butter and jelly. One day Nancy decided to split a word into two sections to separate kids. That word was Homosapien... that's right "Homos over there and sapiens over there!" I think that all the staff almost completely lost it. In her tiniest action Nancy brought joy to me at camp, and anywhere else I was lucky enough to run into her, and that's the attitude that I hope to remember her with: Joy.

God is faithful :)

The past few weeks have brought many changes.

I officially submitted all my paperwork to substitute and officially substituted Middle School Band last Tuesday. It went a lot better than I had expected from previous experience with band and that age group and the fact that I didn't have coffee until the afternoon.

After substituting I went to a CRU leadership meeting. I have been emailing back and forth between CRU leadership to figure out how I can use my extra time to reach students on campus nearby. I have been asked to head up International Student Outreach :) They haven't had a student head that up, from what I can gather, and I'm excited to see how this goes. I have some ideas to start connecting Christians to International Students and am looking forward to seeing how they work out. At the meeting I had a prayer that I wouldn't be overwhelmed and got a speedy answer the next day.

I've been working for a church part-time and they've asked that I become even more part-time due to finances of the church. It took me aback a bit, but I realized that God is freeing up my time that I won't be overwhelmed. I'll be able to take more substituting jobs, which helps me prioritize my time and be more productive with everything and also I'd be getting paid more per day than working at the church. God's providing for me yet again.

Speaking of the church job: I'm really excited with where youth is going this year. At the beginning I knew of 2 maybe 3 youth to expect and now there are 4-5 that are coming pretty regularly. We had our first Hot Topic Sunday where we let them ask questions and worship (that is guitar and singing) is becoming a part of their meetings. We have a youth retreat coming up with many going. I'm excited at the depth of questions being asked and establishing foundations this year. Hopefully this week I'll have direction planned for the group til January... or at least until next Sunday since the following weekend is their retreat!

Today I had a nice adventure with Tamara looking for a sale that I saw signs for. Alas, it must have been yesterday and they just didn't take the signs down! Oh well, we went to Boulder Coffee Shop (I hadn't been there before) and it was great! We had a great conversation and I opened up about myself a bit, which is a big thing for me to do since it usually takes me a few years.

Other notable comments:
- I am seeing the purpose of barre chords and no longer hate them- they are still awkward when I first start implementing them, but become more comfortable with practice.
- Watching Pride & Prejudice after watching Lost in Austen made it an amusing time at Girl's Night.
- I don't know why, but evidently the time after 5:30 am, but before 6:00 am is the time that, if woken, I'm wide awake and ready to start the day... without need of coffee. This was discovered yet again when I got a substitute call at 5:40 am, clearly remembered plans of the day and stated clearly that I was unavailable that day. My time is not always my own anymore... I don't know how I feel about that.

And that concludes recent smidgens of my life, for now.

Guitar Blessings and Making Weekly Dates :)

This semester I decided that to help my goal of getting better at guitar that I should take lessons to do so... and I have calluses to prove it! There are parts that I expected (I still hate bar chords) and parts I didn't expect (playing from sheet music is a LOT easier than I thought it would be). I got sheet music for my lesson on Friday, two days ago, and I've basically have it prepared for my lesson this Friday (even the tricky one included in case I had extra time). That just leaves choosing a piece of music to incorporate bar chords in functionally. Smart teacher I tell ya- showing me where it will make life easier to try to motivate me to enjoy bar chords more. I'm challenged with D# M7 on the sixth string then craziness of Bb minor on the fifth string... I think I'm going to need to make flash cards :P In all honesty I am enjoying all that I am learning with guitar and kind of wish I would have taken lessons like this sooner!

As for weekly dates... that would be with friends ;) I am meeting with a few friends that I am hoping will become weekly meetings since they are wonderful ladies that I am developing great friendships with. That and you can't beat meeting with Godly women! Tomorrow I meet with a friend I made on Friday, at CRU, that is from Madagascar and I quickly made several connections. She has a personality that I connect with and I just tend to automatically love International Students... seriously! I also met with CRU's International Student coordinator and she mentioned trying to start an International Bible Study, which for those who don't know, is where I like to be whenever possible! As for other weekly dates I meet with a lovely lady that I met before she started at Roberts and it makes me happy being able to use my time at Roberts and RIT. I really enjoy the fact that today having lunch at RIT I knew two people that people at CRU had not met and I was able to introduce them to... and I don't even go to RIT!

So for the newest update: I'm doing well, feeling blessed by opportunities, but also a little overwhelmed by options. Of course the weekends/weeks that I have been looking to plan have so much going on that I can't get to everything, which makes me extremely sad! I guess I have to be a bit more decisive and hopefully God will make the decision easier by closing some of those doors!

Discovering my Roots

I have found that through having my first apartment or moving to Rochester, it's a toss up, that I have had a deeper appreciation for things I associate with normal in some Lewis County lifestyles. Specifically finding an appreciation and understanding of all that my Mom gave to me and my siblings growing up.

So what does this entail?
Sewing: In college I decided that I wanted a sewing machine. Granted there's a lot more I'd like to do with sewing, but I did happen to fix a dress for a wedding this summer and I think it turned out quite well. That and I'm in the process of sewing something for a Pay-it-forward post earlier this year on facebook.

Cooking: I'm getting in the habit of enjoying making things from scratch a lot more than having it made for me. I think part of it is the fact that I know exactly what ingredients are in it and I get a sense of accomplishment when it tastes good. On that note I got an icecream maker for my birthday and have been putting that to good use. I've made French Vanilla, Blackberry, Rasberry, Chocolate Peanut Butter Icecream AND this week I intend to add Nutella Icecream to that list. Today I made pizza dough from scratch and am very excited with how it turned out. In the Fall I want to make applesauce

I enjoy going to the Farmer's Market and getting grown produce rather than the convenience of getting it at a supermarket.

While training for Iron Girl I realized how much simpler it is to train near where my parents live than in Rochester. I can bike pretty easily in Rochester and I've managed to find an outdoor pool to swim in. Running is more of a struggle. Partly at home you know everyone for miles- here I know the renters upstairs and that's about it.

I could go on the distinctions of life of what I associate with Lewis County, but more than anything else I think it's a realization of what I grew up expecting being brought up in it. I've begun to realize all that my mom did when we were younger and what she still does.
How many kids get their first taste of store bought bread in Kindergarten? How many families these days don't know what it is to to have to go to an alterations place because they know how to make their own alterations? How many kids have homemade clothes in their kindergarten picture?
You look at all the preplanned meals, "just add ______", "15 minutes to the table", etcetera. Growing up we had chickens that made their way to the table. Add onto all of that and I had a medical hotline when I left to college.
Then I could get started on how Dad built the house. The grounds around the house have always been kept up. He's building a barn. He's peeling trees and making rustic furniture by hand! He taught himself guitar and continues to learn each day.
For them that was the life they grew into and I am glad that there are generations still coming up learning these skills. It's what was expected of them rather than a choice for them. Sadly with that being a choice many skills are being lost. I think of how much I probably won't be able to learn or acquire because of the demands of work and life, but am hopeful and excited about small things that I am starting to catch onto. Who knows I might become a homemaker yet!

Resolutions Update/ Changes :)

So in the beginning of the year I had resolutions- some have been kept to- some have transformed so I thought an update might be in order...

1- Go to 5 places I have never been before. Places that I've gone- Philadelphia, Schuylkill County, and Brewerton (Iron Girl). Plans to head to Albany for a wedding and hoping to see Niagara Falls in the Fall :)
2- Read Catcher in the Rye (started and am not the greatest fan of the profanity- some books I can read, but finding it doesn't really seem to add anything to it), The Great Gatsby (done!), and Moby Dick- don't know that I care to read this one actually. Never read them (completely in the case of Moby Dick) before!
3- Learn to play guitar well. I feel that this comes in waves and I'm okay with that. That and my definition of what it is to play guitar well constantly changes to playing guitar better.
4- Be open to new possibilities. I think that this is going well :)
5- Be at least 5-10 minutes early to appointments/work/class. Works pretty well. My schedule is so flexible however that whenever I arrive is fine.
6- Train and complete a triathlon! *DONE- more on that in another post to come :)
7- Be frugal and budget my finances wisely- still working on this one. I feel that some things are going well in this area, but things keep coming up. Most recent Chiropractor Appointments... On the other hand I've been good at saving some money by riding my bike to work, using Old Navy rewards, and started to be a more active coupon user!

That's the resolutions update :)