Yesterday my breath was taken away, and my heart started aching, at the news that Nancy is no longer on this earth. Through the past day there have been a jumble of emotions. There have been plenty of times that I have, in my selfishness, been sad that I will not be seeing her face in this life. Multiple times God has reminded me of Nancy's impact in this life and of certain occasions that in the middle of grief I am still able to laugh and fondly remember her.
Philippians 2:14-18 has been my comfort and, in my opinion, explains a smidgen of who Nancy was. "Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ's return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even though I lose my life, pouring it like a liquid offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy."
Nancy was such an example of setting an example in her youth. Her walk with God shone so brightly that, within a short time of knowing her, I was challenged to strengthen my faith to reflect God more fully. With her departing this life it is upsetting that such a bright shining woman of God is no longer among us. Nancy brought life, energy, and joy wherever she went. These qualities were contagious and valued. When such value leaves, it's easy to feel a void and see the world as a dimmer place. The tendency is to reflect on the light departing instead of looking towards ways to allow God's light to shine brighter in us. In this time of grief, making me vulnerable, I need to depend on God and boast in his strength working through me.
Nancy is taking part in the wonderful hymn sing of heaven, lending her voice and enthusiasm. There is a celebration that one, such as her, has joined eternity. This fact brings a bit of joy during this time as well as God's reminder of a story, which I will end this post with.
One week at camp (day camp, I believe), Nancy was the rec leader. We usually have kids choose a buddy and then choose between two options. Most times those options are something simple like peanut butter and jelly. One day Nancy decided to split a word into two sections to separate kids. That word was Homosapien... that's right "Homos over there and sapiens over there!" I think that all the staff almost completely lost it. In her tiniest action Nancy brought joy to me at camp, and anywhere else I was lucky enough to run into her, and that's the attitude that I hope to remember her with: Joy.
