This week I will be making a few transitions that I am excited about. I move into my first apartment, start my masters at a new college, start going to a new church... again, start looking for a job... again- although hoping to get in contact with a school district and substitute, moving right in the middle ground between the suburbs and downtown, and there are several more transitions that I am sure I'll be in the midst of soon.
In all my nervousness though it's been amazing to see how God has caused everything to fall into place and I am sure that he has further prepared the way for me! Tomorrow I begin doing prep work on my end to be ready for Thursday- that is when I go down to move in- and I find that with each transition and step I feel more like an adult... which at this point makes me sad- then again I am still in camp mode.
Speaking of camp- this summer has been the toughest leaving there. I know that camp isn't the same any more since staff have left it, but in the past I think that just knowing that I am near camp has given me more of a peace of mind- that and knowing that I could facilitate often. This summer's end changes that circumstance for the first time in my life. I will be out of an easy drive from camp and will have to plan a whole trip to spend time at camp. Camp has easily become home for me since that's where the majority of my time has been spent the past 4 years... that and since it is so close to my parents I think that together is my current feelings of home. I know that the summer couldn't always last but I think throughout the summer I pushed that to my back of my mind and now it's starting to hit me- which I thought with all the prep work for getting ready for an apartment would keep it out of mind... not the case- things are coming together too quickly!
In the past I also had a few things that I was able to access at home for staying the weekend and not having to worry about packing everything I need for the weekend. This summer changed and I am officially moved out of my parent's house- that is minus the few things they're letting me store in the garage... which I need to go through and get rid of the junk this week! I feel somewhat lost and finding this transition to be bittersweet- especially since I realize that as I move into my apartment from there I will most likely be getting a job and all that comes from being an adult...
To summarize/conclude... I feel like an emotional wreck (for the first time in a long time), drained, nervous, and excited- I think to a certain extent I can't wait to get to my apartment and get doing work that will officially put me in the next stage of my life~ I think it might be a defense mechanism for me to ignore the changes I don't like so much... but also I think that I'm blocking it a bit at home since I don't like dealing with emotions in front of people... well that's all for now since I am exhausted on so many different counts and am starting to repeat and babble... that's life for now...
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